Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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