Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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