How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime