he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!