I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.