Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
