p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
