youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
