Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
soo... how was my night?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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