Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
