went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I intend to get homeless drunk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
