He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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