Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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