hotel room ftw
I puked a lego.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
