We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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