She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize