I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
