yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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