My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize