you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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