Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
