Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
