The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
