Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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