Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
