just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
