do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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