the condom got lost in my hair
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
