You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
