Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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