GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
