Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
