You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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