I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
