It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize