btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
