Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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