I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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