You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
