do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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