If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
