Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
