You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
