hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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