Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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