Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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