How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize