You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
