Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
im holly from the hills drunk
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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