i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
