is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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