I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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