I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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