If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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