drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Who put my cat in the fridge?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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