if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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